http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com Diet, Lose Weight Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:05:02 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 en hourly 1 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-quote-211/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-quote-211/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:05:02 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/q19.html divorced so they won't think something is
wrong with me.

Elayne Boosler ]]> divorced so they won't think something is
wrong with me.

Elayne Boosler ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-quote-211/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-poem-214/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-poem-214/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:05:02 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/p19.html http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-poem-214/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-story-217/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-story-217/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:05:02 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/s19.html much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says
the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man. " She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over
a frozen hell. ]]> much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says
the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man. " She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over
a frozen hell. ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-story-217/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-216/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-216/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:05:02 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/j19.html that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What
do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The meaning of dreams" ]]> that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What
do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The meaning of dreams" ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-216/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-215/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-215/#comments Thu, 18 Mar 2010 00:05:01 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/j18.html and would he have any suggestions.
"Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is
going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: "so you took my advise and took in a boarder?"
"Yes I did, is the reply, and she's pregnant also....." ]]> and would he have any suggestions.
"Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is
going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: "so you took my advise and took in a boarder?"
"Yes I did, is the reply, and she's pregnant also....." ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-215/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-215/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-215/#comments Thu, 18 Mar 2010 00:05:01 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/j18.html and would he have any suggestions.
"Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is
going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: "so you took my advise and took in a boarder?"
"Yes I did, is the reply, and she's pregnant also....." ]]> and would he have any suggestions.
"Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is
going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: "so you took my advise and took in a boarder?"
"Yes I did, is the reply, and she's pregnant also....." ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-215/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-quote-210/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-quote-210/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:05:01 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/q17.html Ride easy, stranger:
Surrender to the sky
Your heart of anger."
- James K. Baxter
"High Country Weather"

]]> Ride easy, stranger:
Surrender to the sky
Your heart of anger."
- James K. Baxter
"High Country Weather"

]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-quote-210/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-poem-213/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-poem-213/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:05:01 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/p17.html http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-poem-213/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-story-216/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-story-216/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:05:01 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/s17.html
Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least one hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead
of the elevator, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of
antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible.
Get plenty of rest.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

OR .... You can take the doctor's office approach. Think about it, when
you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol. Why?
Because alcohol kills germs. So......

I walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit),
celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get
drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest).
The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you! ]]>
Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least one hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead
of the elevator, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of
antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible.
Get plenty of rest.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

OR .... You can take the doctor's office approach. Think about it, when
you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol. Why?
Because alcohol kills germs. So......

I walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit),
celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get
drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest).
The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you! ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-story-216/feed/ 0 http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-214/ http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-214/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:05:01 +0000 Jokes2Go Daily Humor http://www.jokes2go.com/10/3/j17.html
A. Two. But I have no idea how they get in there. ]]>
A. Two. But I have no idea how they get in there. ]]> http://weight-loss.yougobiz.com/jokes/todays-joke-214/feed/ 0